New sem and new me

Tak tahu nak tulis apa.Tangan kaku.Hati mahu meluahkan apa yg terbuku tapi tangan dan otak seolah-olah beku,tak mahu bekerjasama.I will be leaving for the new sem tomorrow :'( Perasaan bercampur baur.Aint know how to express this feeling let alone to spill it out.Sedih ada,gembira ada,takut pon ada.Takut sebab tak dapat terima hakikat yang new sem is starting very soon.Sedih sebab dah takde tempat nak mengadu kalau tension2 study (yes,i know that Allah is the best listener) .Gembira sebab tak sabar nak jadi doc (yes,mmg lambat lagi.but yeah...*smirk*)

Rasa keberatan nak tinggalkan abah sorang2..You know how i feel like if you r in my shoes.Babah sorang2 kat rumah.He might feel lonely..Just exactly like how I feel..I was a bit emotional these days..And I hate myself being in this state coz I ended up crying..People see me as if Im strong and tough enough..'Lini kan kuat'..Im not that strong actually,I can be fragile sometimes coz Im human rite? How can I be happy all the time? Depan abah,kalau boleh tak nak nangis and I always try my best not to.He dislikes to see me crying in front of him.Maybe dia takut dia terikut nangis sama hehe :')

Being away means I wont be able to visit arwah mama :'( Kalau kat umah,tiba2 rasa rindu kat mama boleh pergi visit mama. Tapi kalau duk PJ ..takkan nak terbang balik kot..Lately,sangat rindu kat mama..Bila tengok orang lain jalan ngan ibu diorang mesti cepat je mata ni nak berair.I kept whispering to myself 'Be strong dear self.Allah loves her more than you do'..Dapat doakan mama dari jauh pun adalah satu rahmat dari Allah.In Shaa Allah selagi diri ini masih dipinjamkan nyawa,takkan terputus doa untuk arwah :") 

I hope all is well.Me n abang semangat belajar kat tempat masing2 & abah will be fine at home n selalu bersemangat utk kerja :') Both abah & abang are two important persons in my life.Arwah mama pon orang yang penting dalam hidup ini.Tanpa mama siapalah aku.

Ok,signed off before nangis.

Assalamualaikum !

The best advice from arwah mama :')